Let it go.

Dreams are funny. They start as just an ache in your stomach. An inkling that you can't ignore. You have no idea where they will take you, but you keep putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes blindly, just following an invisible path hoping it will take you somewhere. 

This has been an incredible dream. I started Operation Skinny Jeans after quitting blogging "for good". It grew unlike anything I had ever done, and has given me the most incredible opportunities I never imagined possible. I have met hundreds of the most courageous, wonderful, inspiring women and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I have had the opportunity to share my story on the local news, and with more people than went to my university. 

I can't even put into words how thankful I am that people like you took time out of your day to read what I wrote. 

But it's time to let it go. 

It's funny how life changes SO dramatically so quickly sometimes. It really helps you put things into perspective. I am so blessed that so many wonderful things have come into my life at one time. I have a job I adore, in a field that fascinates me, something I have never had before. I have reconnected with my estranged family, an action that has fulfilled me more than I ever imagined. 2015 is going to be an amazing year, and that is without Operation Skinny Jeans. 

My health and fitness will continue to be a big part of my life. I am working on a relationship with activity and food that feeds my soul, not my followers. 

I am so thankful for your support over the last few years. I wish I could tell you all personally. 

I hope you all have a spectacular life, and thanks for all the fish! ;) 

 

New Year, New Me?

I love that at the beginning of the year everyone is motivated to finally get serious about their health. People buy gym memberships, they buy fresh groceries, do things like the Whole 30 and go all in with their health. They find a quote on Pinterest that says "New year, new me!" And post it everywhere. I wish we could harness that raw motivation and drive and feed off it all year! 

But then a few weeks pass, and we find ourselves falling into the same habits as before. 5 am is really early, so we snooze the alarm. We forgot to prep so we go out to lunch with coworkers "just this once". We all have great intentions, but a large group of people find themselves back at square one by early February. 

I have been wondering about this phenomenon I keep seeing, year after year, and I think I finally get why this happens. Sure, it's a new year, but you are the same old you. The moment Ryan Seacrest said "Happy New Year!" you didn't change, did you? You woke up on January 1st as the same you that went to bed drunk the night before. You may have new drive and new motivation, but you are the same you. 

So what can we do? How can we turn our new drive into long term motivation? It's actually pretty simple. 

Find your why. 

The excitement and push of the new year can only get you so far before you lose sight of why you started. Deciding to change your life isn't easy, and having a deep, personal reason why you want to change will keep you going when you feel like you can't go any further. 

Really dig deep. I have tried losing weight for an event, a dress, for well-meaning family members, but none of them stuck because I didn't have anything strong enough to keep me motivated when things got hard. It wasn't until I sat down and asked myself the hard question, why I wanted to lose weight, that I decided that it was for me.

All my life, I struggled with self-esteem issues, my eating disorder, and feeling like I had very little self-worth. It wasn't until I decided that I was worth feeling great about myself and looking great that I decided to try to lose weight for me. When I found myself getting back into those habits, of self hate and self-loathing, I would look in the mirror and remind myself that I am worth it.

Find your why. 

Just because it's a new year doesn't mean you have changed. But harness that energy and drive and find something in your life that will keep you going, even through the hard parts. 

Aaaaand I'm back

Well, I finally downloaded the blogger app. I haven't been able to find the time to sit down at my laptop so I figured this would make me pick it back up again. 

This year has been pretty crazy so far. I started my new job on January 2nd and it's going great! But getting into a new routine has been my new mission. I got really comfortable with working out at 9 am, taking a nice work break, but now that's not really an option. I am going through the 5 stages of grief and am currently in denial that I am gonna have to wake up at 5 am to get it in ;) But I am doing well with food at work! I bought a lot of fruit, veggies, and healthy foods to eat at work, and I scoped out a loop I can walk to get my blood flowing. 

Overall this is such a positive change in our lives, and I am really glad to be working outside of my home again. Sometimes you just need to see other people that aren't your dog... ;) 

My goal this week is to get back in the habit of posting. Wish me luck.