Operation Skinny Jeans: Food.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Food.

This week I have been thinking a lot about food. Well, lets be honest, I ALWAYS think about food. I am constantly assessing my hunger, thinking about what I am gonna eat next, how I am gonna prepare it, if it will fit in my containers, blah blah blah. And this week I am worried if I have enough food to finish out the week, if I REALLY want to eat chicken and rice again for lunch (spoiler alert, I don't). I have spent YEARS of my life preoccupied by food.

I read this awesome article this morning that my friend Sonya sent to me. It is fascinating how spot on it really is. I have met a lot of women, and I don't know ONE that isn't preoccupied by her weight or what she eats. Amazing powerful successful women in my family beat themselves up over those 10 lbs they keep gaining and losing but can't seem to keep off.  A beautiful mom in my family is sensitive about her post baby stomach (in fact, I bet all of them are, we just don't talk about it).

It's funny, I was at my Uncle's house and I was fixated on that picture of me on the wall (the one I posted last weekend) and he chuckled. And he said "It's funny, when I see that picture, I see someone I love who I am happy to have in my family. " And when I see that picture I see my huge stomach and how uncomfortable I was with myself the night it was taken. But the people who love us DON'T see that. I think the successful woman in my life is beautiful and doesn't need to lose those last 10 lbs, and that the mom I love is perfect the way she is. I can love other people's bodies as they are, but not my own.

Shit.
I wrote that last sentence and had to stop. I write a lot about body love and self acceptance and while I certainly don't hate my body like I used to, I am not sure I love it either. I mean clearly I don't, I just wrote that without thinking about it.

Moving on.

Why do we as women see the worst in ourselves but the best in those around us? Why can't we see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us? I feel like if we did, we would all be MUCH happier with our bodies. If we stopped wasting so much time worrying about food and our size, we could rule the world.

So that is my goal this week. To get through this week of eating without stressing about it (too much) and to look at myself through the eyes of my loved ones.


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