Aside from the not being white thing, this is how I feel.
I am not sure if my confidence is being called into question, but I get a lot of comments like "WOW! I wish I had your confidence!" when I do things like wear a bathing suit in public. I believe in the good in people so I don't think they are being malicious, but I never really know how to respond. You DO have that confidence, somewhere inside you. What is stopping you? Why are you letting it hold you back? Want to wear a swimsuit- WEAR a swimsuit! Give zero fucks about what people think about you and just worry about yourself.
Here's the thing. People are SO worried about themselves, they aren't paying attention to you. Why do you let their potential thoughts ABOUT you consume you? You shouldn't! A stranger's opinion of you DOESN'T matter. It doesn't. They don't know you.
I was not always confident. I was, in fact, quite the opposite for a long long time. I was shy and unsure of myself and uncomfortable in my body and inappropriately funny to give the impression that I had "a nice personality" when really - I didn't. I was a shell of a human being, and I was miserable. Then I went through that whole journey called self love and I realized 1. I am funny, and I don't have to be inappropriate to be so. 2. I HAVE something to offer this world! News Flash- I am not a useless blob of fat. 3. I DESERVE to feel confident! I worked HARD to learn to love myself and to believe in myself, why hide that under all that self doubt and worrying what other people think bullshit.
I have confidence because I love myself, with all my heart, and no matter what any stranger at the pool or behind a keyboard says about me- that doesn't change. They don't know me. They see only the fraction of me they CHOOSE to see.
Which brings me to this.