Operation Skinny Jeans: Short Shorts

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Short Shorts

I have mentioned this before, but I like to repeat myself if I believe in it :D

Every woman can and should wear shorts. I don't know who made curvy women, pasty women, and hairy women believe that only skinny muscular women were allowed to wear shorts, but they were dead wrong.

Also fuck them. They are not your mom.

Unless it was your mom.

Then still fuck them- you do what you want.

Shorts are almost a necessity in the summer. For YEARS I wore full length jeans every summer and I wanted to actually die. I was hot. I was sweaty in places I didn't know could sweat. And I was UNCOMFORTABLE.

I know how uncomfortable the idea of wearing shorts is to you, I get it, but think of how uncomfortable you are NOW. Its not worse than that. Nothing is worse than sweat soggy jeans sticking to your hot sweaty thighs while everyone else is thigh naked around you.

So I have made it my mission to make every hater out there feel especially uncomfortable with my thighs by showing them off this summer.

Are they perfect? ha! no.
Do I have celulite? YES
Are they pasty? Less so because I use fake tanner, but yes
Are they the size of tree trunks? You bet your ass they are.

And haters gonna hate.

But I am gonna be comfortable. Enter the short short parade :D

Another note: Are you working out in pants or capris in this hot weather for no reason? SHORT SHORTS my friends! The sweat dripping down your thighs will be lubrication enough to prevent chafing (trust) and you won't be dying of heat while your thighs cry out for fresh air. My new workout shorts are my favorite thing ever.



I have a stupid look on my face lol. But my thighs are smiling :D


Swimsuit thighs!

Tans save lives. Fake tans, of course. Real tans kill people..... with cancer. 
Now get out there and wear some shorts! Stop being uncomfortable so you don't make others feel uncomfortable!

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20 comments :

  1. It is so funny you posted this, I was just thinking about shorts yesterday and how I need to go buy some. I am in Texas, it is hot. Why make myself miserable?

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  2. Girllllll you rock those shorts!!! That's it...I have one pair of shorts in my closet and by gosh I am going to start wearing them instead of trying them on...cringing...and grabbing my jeans. I am tired of being hot!

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  3. YOU ROCK IT LADY!!!
    Go you wth your important messages!
    Does my cellulite offend you? Well fuck off. People who are disgusted by my cellulite need to get some priorities. Be disgusted by misogyny, be disgusted by war, be disgusted by human trafficking!

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  4. Thank you for posting this. By far, the best blog post message anyone's ever conveyed- EVER!

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  5. This summer is the first time in 3 years that I've worn shorts. I forgot how good it feels to not be DYING in capris all summer. You look great in those shorts! Awesome post.

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  6. Thank you! Regardless of how big I ever was (or am), I've ALWAYS worn shorts. If you don't want to see me in shorts, then don't look. But I refuse to suffer through Alabama summers in jeans. No ma'am!

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  7. I recently started wearing shorts, too. I used to only wear capris or jeans so that I could stay covered. One thing I don't like about shorts, though, is their tendency to ride up my crotch and look super embarrassing. For that reason, I only wear capris while working out. I'd rather be slightly hotter but comfortable than cooler but picking my front wedgie every 30 seconds hahaha. I think you look great in your workout shorts!

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  8. I recently started wearing shorts, too. I used to only wear capris or jeans so that I could stay covered. One thing I don't like about shorts, though, is their tendency to ride up my crotch and look super embarrassing. For that reason, I only wear capris while working out. I'd rather be slightly hotter but comfortable than cooler but picking my front wedgie every 30 seconds hahaha. I think you look great in your workout shorts!

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  9. Go you, I love this post! I used to die every summer in jeans too, and then had the same revelatory idea to say "Eff this" and start wearing shorts. I'm so glad I did. You look great; LOVE the swimsuit!!!

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  10. Way to go girl! What kind of fake tanner do you use?

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  11. Way to go girl! What kind of fake tanner do you use?

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  12. "Thigh naked" HAHA! I just bought new shorts this weekend and they make me so happy!!! Love this post! BTW - I think you should do a fake tanner post!

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  13. Hey I just found your blog, but I am loving this post! Go on with your bad self! I do tend to work out in capris or longer shorts, but that's because I get wicked chub rub otherwise. I've tried body glide and all that jazz, but it doesn't work for me. Wear those shorts with pride!

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  14. Gosh, I wish I could but I just cannnn't. I just can't. I don't think I've worn shorts since I was about 15 and a brief time when I was under 200 lbs back in 2007...which I'm way past that number now. I wish I could but it's never gonna happen. :(

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  15. This post is lovely! I dont like shorts (this is workout related) for the reason of chaffing and they ride up and I hate pulling them down! such a pain! But I am sold on the idea of wearing them casually now! You are so right!

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  16. I have trouble finding shorts that actually don't squeeze the living shit out of my thighs. they are made for toothpick legs.

    That being said I work out in biker shorts. There is no way (*none*) that I can run miles in shorts. Not only do my thighs rub, but the shorts ride up into my crotch and that is totally unflattering.

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  17. I was rocking my brand new red shorts a couple of weeks ago, only my 3rd pair ever bought and thinking the same thing. I used to wear jeans in the dead heat of the summer and be dying of heat exhaustion because I had sweat oozing out of every leg pore (horrible image). Shorts are so much better. I also just bought a high waisted bikini for the first time EVER and I got to tell you, it is so comfortable. I am learning to be comfortable with my legs, even if they aren't perfect. So I LOVE THIS POST! I am thinking about buying compression shorts for the summer because my capris are getting too hot and I found other shorts ride up really bad on me, do you find that your compression shorts stay put or do they ride up a bit?

    I got samples of fake tanner and now I am dying to fake tan. I have always wanted to use sunless tanning lotion but never had the guts. Do you use sunless tanning lotion or go to a spray tan place?

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  18. My legs are my favorite part of my body and have always been really muscular. You better believe I show them off!

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  19. You have me cracking up!
    Haters gonna hate, who cares!! you wear those shorts!

    I have never been one to wear jeans in the heat. I prefer to let my thighs smile. :)

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