I think one of the biggest changes between my "before" pics and now is the look in my eyes. You can see in those old pictures that I FELT ugly.
Here is a montage of examples.
I didn't feel beautiful in any of these pictures.
But as I started to work out, eat better and lose weight, I started to FEEL beautiful. Sure I still had ugly days (who doesn't) but they were few and far between.
My wisdom teeth (I know I promised to stop bitching about them) derailed me for about 2 weeks. I wasn't allowed to work out, and then I was in SO MUCH pain that I didn't feel like doing anything except give myself an ulcer by popping SO MANY pills a day to manage the pain. Apparently 3 dry sockets will do that to a person.
And in the last two weeks, I have started to have more ugly days.
I noticed it yesterday, when I realized I hadn't FELT beautiful in a while, and that's when it hit me. Working out and eating right (not the milkshake diet I was on) makes me FEEL good about myself.
So I hear this a lot. People think that I must HATE my body so much to want to change it. That there can't be self love in the same breath as self improvement. I feel so sorry for people who think this way. I don't work my body and feed it healthy things because I hate it. And in fact, I wasn't able to truly start caring for it until I started LOVING it. When I still resented it, I punished it, which didn't get me anywhere!
I hate that in the last two weeks I have let myself feel ugly again. I am partially blaming my broken hair dryer I have been too lazy to replace lol. I can't do my hair in the morning so maybe that's part of it too ;)
Starting today, I am going to FEEL beautiful. I am going to work toward loving my body and feeding it healthfully and I am going to move it in a way that makes it stronger and makes ME stronger.
Self love is a process. It doesn't happen over night, you have to court yourself. I look at myself naked a lot (don't judge) and I point out the parts I love. I don't LET myself think of the parts I want to improve. It is a process. Take it one day at a time.
I just took this selfie. Feeling beautiful today.