I feel like I am having a bit of an identity crisis.
So when you are plus sized, you are inherently part of this culture of plus sized women. You share experiences and there is definitely a bond. Being a curvy girl on a mission to lose weight, it almost feels like I am shunning this part of me, trying to get OUT of the curvy club and it sucks because I don’t want out.
I mean I don’t want to be unhealthy. I don’t hate my plus sized body, but I want a stronger body. I want to improve and to me that means changing my body. But in doing that, I am abandoning this culture that has embraced me from the start. I feel sad that I wont be a part of it anymore.
And I am worried that I will alienate my fellow curvy girls too, become unrelatable because I will no longer be “one of them”
Which makes me really sad because what I want more than anything is to empower women of all sizes to move their bodies! It feels good! It is good for you!
So I am standing on this precipice of plus and standard size, and I want to make the leap of faith into the unknown. Will the accept me like you have? Will there be a place for me? Lord knows the clothes will be cheaper! :D
Am I crazy? Don’t answer that lol. We all know I am crazy. But am I alone in feeling this way? I guess my real fear is that I will become like another former bigger girl who blogs and has taken it the complete other way. I don’t want to lose my identity and alienate my followers with my new lifestyle. I don’t think that would happen, I am not that kind of person, but I worry about it! Muscles are addicting!
So many thoughts stewing in my brain these days.