Operation Skinny Jeans: #transformationtuesday

Tuesday, March 25, 2014


I love instagram. I love looking through everyone's pictures, and seeing their progress or workouts or transformations. Especially on Tuesdays. Inspiration station!

But the one thing I have learned is that this transformation is not just physical. I feel like I have changed more as a person in the last 14 months than I have physically.

I was an extrovert stuck in an introvert's body. I wanted to be outgoing and friendly because that was my nature, but I was so uncomfortable in my own skin that I wasn't able to portray that. I would sit at home, behind the keys of my computer, pinning all the things from the "health and fitness" side of pinterest, lonely, depressed and so uncomfortable.

Real talk- being overweight is uncomfortable as shit. I don't remember what it feels like to be a normal size (like in the 100's) but the difference between how I feel now and how I felt then is STAGGERING.

I couldn't sit up straight in chairs. I was always leaning back because my stomach was so large it was uncomfortable to sit up. Sitting in chairs in general was uncomfortable! If the chair had arms, I felt like I was squeezing into it, and it hurt. I remember NOT sitting in the outdoor chairs at Chipotle because they caused me physical pain. Even movie theatre seats were a tight fit.

I couldn't cross my arms over my chest. I have pretty short arms as it is, but they wouldn't cross. I would have to rest my hands on my belly.

I didn't have a lap. I am not even exaggerating when I say that my stomach came out so far while sitting down that I had only a few inches of "knee" It was hard to use a laptop in my lap without a lap.

I couldn't cross my legs. Not even ankle to knee. And I have short legs so most of the time they don't touch the ground, and there was nothing I could do but sit there in pain.

I couldn't lay flat on my back without my neck and boobs smothering me. Like I literally couldn't breathe. I have a special pillow (that I still love) that I had to use to sleep so I don't snore/ suffocate myself in my sleep with my body fat.

Ok this post has taken a turn. I am gonna go with it. Things like this are things you don't know unless you experience them yourself. And I will be honest, I am not done yet. I still have 90 lbs to lose. I am sure in another 60 lbs I will be saying "Oh man! 60 lbs ago I couldn't do ___. As I slowly peel the layers of fat off my body, I realize all the wonderful things it is capable of! I can't even imagine the amazing things it can do when I keep getting smaller.

That is why I am working so hard. I want to push myself. Do what I never thought or knew was possible. Its not about vanity, its about strength. I want to be the best me I can. Period.

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  1. I LOVE THIS!!! So raw and inspiring! It is uncomfortable being overweight. Why do we stay so uncomfortable for so long before we finally do something about it! I wish I would have started this journey years ago!!!

  2. I love this post! And just look at how far you've come!!! You WILL do this. There is not a doubt in my mind!

  3. LOVE IT! You have come so far. That is just awesome! Seriously, this post just made me happy!

    Whenever I am having a particularly bad body image day, one where I hate my body, I take a moment and list the things my body can do for me. Usually I start with "I carried twins to term without bed rest or any complications" and end with "my legs can run...(fill in whatever mileage I recently ran)".

  4. Man, I can totally relate to this. I was always re-adjusting my tops so they didn't settle into my rolls when I sat down. I'd always grab a pillow from the couch and hold it over my stomach to hide it. I could never cross my legs either and I didn't realize it was just because of how big my thighs were! Seriously, thanks for sharing something that so many of us can relate to-- your real-ness is something every blogger can learn from and be inspired by!! :)

  5. This is a great post..and it's wonderful to put things in perspective.

    I have a girlfriend who works hard, it very slim and it now doing personal training. She told that she had a client that made her strap a pillow to her stomach and then do a sit up...just so she could experience the extra challenge it is to do those type of activites when you are larger. I told her the next step is to put on a back pack with a few 10 lb bag of potatoes and see how that feels. But she did say it was very eye opening for her to do that experiement.

  6. I can relate to sooo much of this! Always adjusting my tops. Always worried about sitting in chairs. I avoided shorts for the longest time.

    You have come so far already!! Love it :)

  7. In another 60 pounds, you will be doing some absolutely incredible things! I mean, you are training for a half marathon right now... the sky is the limit as to what you can accomplish!

  8. Wait... did I just write a guest blogger post on your blog? No? LOL... Wow. I SO know, I so do. You just said everything I've bene feeling. My motivation has been missing, but you're helping me get it back slowly. Thank you for your honestly always.

  9. You have me in tears AT WORK girl!! I see myself and feel/felt so many of these days/feelings. Bless you! Bless you!
    I remember being in the bed and my partner wrapped their arms around me and I felt so disgusted with myself. I didn't even want to be touched anymore. Ugh!! I hate crying!!! LOL! You continue to inspire me!! You are AMAZING! Thank you for putting it all out there and being so real and personable. I needed this.

  10. You're so right! You've come so far and it's amazing to look back and think about everything you can do now. Keep up the fabulous work, girlie.


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