Operation Skinny Jeans: January 2014

Friday, January 31, 2014

I am not fearless.

In chatting with a friend of mine yesterday, Amber from Crafty Healthy Mommy, I realized that I am scared.

You all know I am a binge eater. And if you didn't, now you do. And with that, and my past, comes a slue of insecurity and fear and feelings of unworthiness.

I am working through it.

But I have fears.

What if I change? I mean I know I am going to change. I have changed. But what if I change a lot? What if I change so much that my friends don't like me anymore, or my husband doesn't love me? I know that sounds really stupid, and I have talked to him about it and he insists that I could never change so much that he wouldn't love me anymore.

And I believe him.

But I still worry about it.

And I worry about never actually reaching my goal. I don't know how to succeed. It's not something I have ever done because when I get too close, I sabotage myself. I am working past it, but it is something I know I do.

I am afraid of what will happen after I reach my goal. Will I gain it back? Will I be happy?

I don't let my fears overwhelm me, but they exist. They come out when I least expect it.

I know you know this, but I am not perfect. I have fears and insecurities and I am working on getting past them.

Basically what i am saying is that it's okay to have fears. And you aren't alone.

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Thursday, January 30, 2014

Water Water Water Water Water everywhere!

I have 99 problems, but drinking enough water is not one of them. However, I know that isn't necessarily the case for the majority of the population, so I thought I would share some tips/tricks!

I drink water throughout the whole day. I have a bottle at my desk, and I sip on it all day long. But that is a habit I have created. Drinking water is all about making it a habit. Once your body gets used to your new level of water intake, it will crave it!

But getting to that point seems like it might take forever! Here are some tips to help increase your water intake!

1. Drink on a schedule.
I love the idea of making marks on a water bottle that encourage you to drink a certain amount every hour. It helps set goals and is a great visual reminder throughout the day!

2. Spice it up.
Not literally... spicy water doesn't sound that delicious. But add some fruit to it! No, that crystal light stuff doesn't technically count. Crystal light is colored chemicals and putting it in your water is, albiet, better than soda, but not much. A great way to add flavor is by adding fruit. I squeeze lemon, lime and sometimes orange juice in my water, or some fresh berries, or an apple. Anything just chillin in there will give your water flavor without all the nasty chemicals. 

I have this one and I love it!

3. Drink it when you are bored. 
If you struggle with bored eating, grab a glass of water instead. Any time you want to eat out of boredom, take a sip. Pretty soon your brain will associate that boredom with drinking water instead of food. Not only will you be drinking more water, you will eat less crap. Boom :D

4. Drink while you eat.
In between bites, or every other bite, take a second and drink some water. Not only will it cleanse your pallet, it will make you feel full faster. Plus it makes you eat slower which helps you feel fuller faster. 

5. Drink first thing. 
Drinking a glass of water with lemon first thing in the morning will not only jump start your metabolism, it will get you on the water drinking train first thing! 

So hopefully those tips help you step up your water game. You will notice amazing benefits of drinking more water, like weight loss, clear skin, less hunger, and more energy! 

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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The First Step

Getting to a place of self love takes time. You aren't going to wake up one day after years of self loathing and self body shaming and look at your self and the mirror and say "Oh hai there sexy thing! Where have you been?". It just isn't going to happen.

And the idea of completely abandoning the thoughts of hate you have toward your body, thoughts that have been with you for YEARS is scary. There is a weird sense of security in those thoughts. A weird sense of safety. You can be that girl. The fat girl. The girl no one talks to or hits on or wants anything to do with. You know that girl well, and letting her go is scary.

But it's worth it.

Because you know who is just beneath that girl? It's the strong, confident woman. Yep. She is just sitting in there, dormant, waiting to be awoken. Waiting for that girl to realize she is inside there and let her out. She is that voice in your head telling you can be anything, GO anywhere! She is that little voice of doubt in your mind when you tell yourself again, that you cant. 

But like I said, setting her free isn't easy. And it takes time, like all things worth doing do. But that's where I come in.

I was, not even that long ago, that girl. But unlike you, I had to go at this alone. I didn't have anyone to help me through this intensely life altering realization. And it was scary. Shit it IS scary, but it's also worth it.

And I am going to share with you the first step.

When you have a minute to yourself, find a mirror, and look at yourself. It's cheesy as hell but do it. Look into your eyes (you don't even have to be naked) and say the words "I forgive you."

I forgive you.

That's it.

Forgive yourself for the things you have done in your past. Forgive your body for it's imperfections. Forgive your mind for HATING yourself so much. Think of all those things that have held you back, anything anyone has ever said to you, about you, behind your back, anything and forgive. And most importantly, think of all the things YOU have ever thought negatively about yourself, your worth, your body, everything, and forgive.

I know it sounds cheesy, but as soon as you can forgive yourself for the abuse you have put yourself through and forgive the people who have gotten you there, you can start to really change the way you feel and therefore see yourself.

Because inside of that girl, the one you are hiding behind, is your true self. The confident, sexy, ambitious woman you really are.

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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

I am back!

I am back!! Sorry for the extended vacation, but with travel and hangover recovery, I needed those 4 days off. But I am back in CO and ready to go! I had such an amazing weekend, one that was punctuated with meeting Maggie, the brains behind So Lola Boutique!! She was amazing and it was like we were old friends! I love when I can just sit down with someone and chat for hours without noticing :D

Unfortunately because I am still foggy brained from the crazyness that happened this weekend, I can't seem to string two ideas together to write you a proper post, but with any luck I will be back in normal working order tomorrow!

Until then I wanted to let you all know that FRIDAY is the last day to get T25 or P90X3 at the discounted price, AND join my Shakeology group with some pretty sweet prizes!

Hopefully I will get out of this fog soon lol. That weekend took it all out of me!
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Thursday, January 23, 2014

Random thoughts

I have been hit with a case of writers block, so it's time for Random Thoughts with Jess :D

Sometimes I feel like I talk in Pinterest Inspirational Quotes...

When I do, it makes me want to barf. Who am I??

Some mornings I wake up and I want nothing more than to feel my feet against the pavement and the wind in my hair.

And some mornings I wake up and I want nothing more than chocolate cake. A whole one. Matilda style.

I think my favorite movie is Mean Girls because I am fascinated by women being truly mean to each other. Its not a bone I have in my body. 

I know my other favorite movie is Meet the Robinsons because of Tiny. 

I get annoyed by most "Fitspo".

I used to hate push ups, but now I love them because they make me feel like a beast.

I want to develop my strength, and maybe participate in weight lifting competitions (way down the line). In high school I took a weight lifting class and I loved it.

I love the Biggest Loser, and I always wanted Jillian as my trainer. But now I want Bob.

I am attached to my iPhone. This isn't even an exaggeration.

Pusheen is my spirit animal. Right now in my life, specifically Pusheenicorn.

I am totally awkward in social situations around people I don't know. I hope that if I met any of you, I would be able to keep it cool, but I couldn't guarantee it. Side note: I am going to be in Austin Texas this weekend if anyone wants to go running with me on Saturday or Sunday morning. :D

Having random thoughts? Do you have a spirit animal? Share! 

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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The "Recipe for success"...

I was perusing Facebook this weekend when it showed up on my mini feed that a friend of mine liked something. When I am bored enough, I poke around and see what they liked, which lead me to this.

There is a page on facebook (that I am not going to mention by name) that basically called EVERY method of weight loss besides buying a gym membership and eating clean a "scam". This piqued my interest so I read more on her page, and I realized that I completely disagreed with her.

Like I have said before, I have tried a lot of things. A lot of weird, unhealthy things to lose weight. Lets take HCG for an example. I dont think HCG is healthy and I do not recommend it to ANYONE, BUT I know people who have successfully lost weight with it. I didn't, because I can't restrict myself that much, but my best friend lost over 40 lbs with it, and a girl I follow on instagram has lost over 100. Who are you to say that that is a "scam"? Is it healthy? no. Is it possible that they will gain it all back? sure. But that doesn't mean its a scam.

She went on to say that Beachbody DVD workouts are a scam. This blew my mind. Because it is a proven way to workout and lose weight AT HOME and not in a gym, its a scam? I don't get that.

She is a believer in clean eating and good old fashioned gym workouts. I get that. And good for her! But I feel the need to explain something. Clean eating is not a simple concept. It sounds simple, and really the IDEA is simple, but you have to exist in a world where the ENTIRETY of human beings eat only to fuel their bodies. I would be willing to bet that 98% of us eat for other reasons. 1. It tastes good. 2. We are upset. 3. We are bored. 4. They are Girl Scout cookies and they taste freaking delicious thats why!

We don't just eat to fuel. That is a fact.

So the whole concept of "Clean Eating" itself is hard as hell because it changes COMPLETELY how you eat.

Not saying that it isnt worth it, because it definitely is. But for someone addicted to processed foods, it s a really jarring concept. I know this because I was that person. I couldnt imagine what I would eat without boxed or caned foods. That was my life!

And the other thing is I don't think a gym membership is the best idea for everyone. I had a membership to a big boxed gym for about 4 months, and it was a good tool because I knew how to use it. BUT the first time I ever stepped into a gym, I was completely overwhelmed! I didnt know what anything was, or how to use it, or what to do on it! So I got a trainer. But those things arent cheap! For my husband and I, we were shelling out $130 a MONTH for a gym, without a trainer. Then the trainer was $50 an hour ON TOP of that.

My point is, there are other ways to work out that don't involve an expensive gym membership you wont end up using.

And now I am at the end of this rant and I am not even sure I have made my point. Lets recap.

Alternative methods of losing weight are not "Scams".
Clean eating is not as easy as it sounds, so dont judge someone who can't make it work for them.
Gym memberships are hella expensive and NOT the only way to exercise (and often not even the BEST way to exercise for a beginner.)


Side note. I just want to talk about something for a second. I have been drinking Shakeology for a month so I feel like I should update you on what I think. I have tried lots of different protein powders, but this one really is different. Not only does it keep me full until lunch, it cuts down on muscle soreness, has completely regulated my digestive system (remember this post! GONE.) AND it has cleared up my skin. So many people commented that I have such clear skin and I am so happy to hear you say that because I am a normally pimply girl. I haven't changed my skincare regime, just my vitamin intake through Shakeology. I know a lot of people don't think it will work for them, so they dont even want to try it (and I was one of them). BUT after a month of drinking it, I can tell you I feel great. I can't even explain it.

And I want to share this wealth. That is why I am doing a super cool Shakeology Challenge.  It will start February 3rd and all you have to do is drink Shakeology for 30 days. No workout, no special meal plan, just replace 1 meal a day with Shakeology for 30 days. The winner (decided by a point system) will win a Ruffles with Love tank top (of your choice) AND a set of Sol Republic Headphones (worth $79.99). So $100 in prizes.

Are you ready to fix your digestive problems, start eating cleaner, and get better nutrition? Think you can replace one meal a day with Shakeology? Wanna win those awesome prizes? Cause I sure as heck do.

Join the challenge here.
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Monday, January 20, 2014

Gettin Fancy

I love that my husband works for a big company that has big fancy holiday parties. I never have a reason to dress up, so I love that at least once a year we break out the fancy clothes and go big.

Last year I wore a dress from Forever 21 that I liked, but I didn't feel awesome in it. It was too tight and so it wasn't really comfortable and I was really self conscious of my arms. I don't have a photo of it on facebook, I liked it so little lol.

I still have the dress, and its too big now, so it kinda looks funny, which is why I really wanted a dress that made me feel awesome. Sometimes it takes looking pretty to really feel how far you have come.

So after looking high and low, I ended up going with a high low dress. (get it? I am punny lol)

Dress- Torrid. Necklace and Earrings- Target. Shoes- Madden Girl

I love this dress. 

And how I feel in it. 

At one point I was feeling a little cleavage self conscious so I had my husband take this picture so I could see how "out and about" they were. 

Pretty darn out and about lol is the answer. BUT standing up it still looked classy so I was okay with it. It is just a very bobbalicious dress. If you got em, flaunt em I say!

I also took a couple selfies so you could see me with make-up because lets be honest, THAT NEVER HAPPENS lol. I have never been a makeup kinda gal. I never wore it growing up and I work with electricians so I don't really wear it now. 

And you know that point in taking selfies when your smile looks forced and you just need to reset your face? Just me? Well this happened and I think its my favorite one :D

I am more of a goofy face kinda girl anyway. 

I love that necklace holy crap. I may have to go buy it in the pink/orange combo they have right now too. 

So yeah, there you go. No close up of my shoes, it was the end of the night when I remembered to take pics so my husband was grumpy enough he had to take the pics he did, I wasn't going to make him get on the ground lol

All in all it was a fun night! I wish we got dressed up more often! 

Oh and also. 

I have this picture of me from a year and a half ago in a dress that I had been wanting to use as a comparison pic for a while, but I honestly didnt think I looked any different now than I do in that pic. Until I put them side by side. Its funny how our brains work. 

And honestly I didnt even really see the difference (although you all convince me there is one) until my husband made me get out of bed and put the dress back on now, and he took another pic. My hair is cray and my face is stupid so I wont be sharing THAT side by side, but needless to say, that convinced me. :D

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Friday, January 17, 2014

Ok I decided on a dress

As I have mentioned before, my husband's holiday party is tomorrow, and I needed help deciding on a dress.

I posted this long post showcasing tons of beautiful dresses from Rent the Runway, in which you all decided that the short gold one was the winner.

But then one day on facebook I asked you guys if renting was a waste of money, and if I should just buy something, and you all agreed, so I went on a hunt. 

And I found this dress from Torrid.

And fell in love. 

So I went to the store, tried it on, and bought it. 


Next, were the shoes. I searched HIGH AND LOW for the perfect shoes. I wanted something not super high so I could walk in them, and a bright color for fun, and if we are being honest I just wanted the damn shoes the girl in the picture is wearing because holy crap they are cute, but alas, they no longer exist. 

BUT after 6 stores (I wish I were exaggerating, I have a very patient shopping buddy) I found these:

They are super comfortable, and MERMAID COLORED. 

And also $12

I can not wait to wear them tomorrow night! So my next plan is to shave my legs for the first time since October, and buy some self tanning lotion because dayum. I am pasty. :D

Complete outfit pictures to come next week :D 


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Thursday, January 16, 2014

My story, and a boot camp!

Couple things. 1. I am holding a 3 week Healthy Habits Boot Camp starting Monday the 20th! It is completely free, and a secret (will be) group on facebook where you can share a habit you are trying to create, with daily accountability! There might even be a prize involved ;)

If you wanna join, check it out here! 

2. So if you follow me on Facebook, you saw the article I shared from Literally, Darling. I love to write, and when I came across their magazine and saw you could submit articles, I jumped right on that. I have submitted 3 articles and all have been published, which feels awesome. The latest one was kind of a surprise. It was the first one I wrote, and it was not an easy one to write.

I was still upset over the whole "lady calling her daughter fat at the choir concert" thing so I decided to tell my story as to why that affected me so much. I got an email the other day letting me know it had been published. I was excited and nervous because it is a hard thing to talk about. But I am glad I wrote it.

So now I am sharing it with you all. (click on the picture below to read it)

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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

I have tried it all

I have been trying to lose weight for at least the last 5 years of my life. In that time, I have tried everything on the planet. For fun, I will name them.

Weight Watchers
The Jillian Michael's Cleanse
30 Day Shred
Weight Watchers 2 more times
Calorie counting
Green Smoothies
Not eating

I am sure there are other things I have tried, but it has been such a long battle between me and my body that I have blocked something out.

Now I am trying something new. I am trying to love my body, fuel it, and move in a way that I enjoy. It's my body. It's my journey. I am sick of starving myself or drinking a citrus fiber drink that makes me ACTUALLY VOMIT. So I am trying something new.

I want to be healthy because I love my body enough to do so. I want to work out doing something I ENJOY. I don't enjoy the treadmill. I want to eat food that feeds my soul. RESTRICTION doesn't feed my soul. I am in this for the long haul. This isn't a quick fix. This is my life. I want to be an active person. I want to be a healthy person.

Everyone has tried different things. And everyone has had varying success with those different things. I think judging or getting mad at someone else trying to better their life is silly.

What is the craziest thing you have tried to lose weight? Did you do the cabbage diet? I never tried that but I do love cabbage! :D

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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I don't count

I have written a few times about what I am eating throughout this journey, and I like that because I can look back and see how far I have come. Probably the hardest thing about this whole process is figuring out how to fuel your body while still feeling satisfied. It is something I have, and STILL struggle with, as a binge eater. And since I get asked all the time what I eat, I figured I would throw out another update.


I don't count calories. I know my BMR is in the 1800 calorie range, but I couldn't tell you how many calories I eat a day because I don't count them. I am a manipulative person, and I can make ANYTHING fit in my calorie allotment. Same thing with WW. I would eat my 37 points of Girl Scout cookies then starve myself the rest of the day. Until night time where I would binge because fuck I was starving.

It wasn't good.

And lawd knows I suck at tracking! I even have an app and I can't bother myself to use it. I don't know why but it has never been my strong point. And instead of punishing myself because it's something I am "supposed" to do, I just stopped trying. And I figured out something that works for me.

I have a plan, loosely based off the P90X3 plan (but with less food because woah). And I follow this plan about 90% of the time. That is pretty good, if you have ever followed a diet or plan lol. I count easy things to count because I dont have to count higher than 4 :D

I count servings.

I have:

3 servings of Protein
2 servings of Fruit
2 servings of unrefined starches
4 servings of Vegetables
3 servings of HEALTHY fat
and 1 serving of dairy.

And I usually break it down this way.

Fruit, Veggie, Starch, Dairy, Protein and Fat.
(seems huge, but I have Shakeology (P, F, V) with Almond Milk (D) a piece of whole wheat toast (S) and some avocado on it (F). )

Snack: Fruit

Veggie, Protein, Fat, Starch (or I save it for dinner sometimes)
(Romaine Lettuce (V), Chicken Breast (P) Cesar Dressing (F) and a Pita (S)

Snack: Veggie (I like bell pepper sticks in the car on the way home, or during that 3pm slump)

Veggie, Protein, Fat and maybe a Starch.
(Asparagus (V), Pork Chop (P), Olive Oil (I cooked with it, F) and last night I had Sweet Potatoes (S), but I didn't have one at breakfast so I was good. :D )


I eat a lot. And all of it is healthy. I have no clue how many calories it is, but I don't actually care :D

Please note that I am not a registered Dietitian, or a nutritionist, or anything like that. I am just a girl who eats, and hates to count or write shit down. Try this if you are like me. Eat more if you need to. This is just what works for me. 

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