Operation Skinny Jeans: What's your motivation??

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

What's your motivation??

I get asked a lot of questions. I get asked what I eat, how I exercise, how I got started, why I write about poop, and most frequently what my motivation is. Usually these questions come as desperate pleas to make something CLICK inside of the asker, helping them to be successful in their journey. My answer has always been the completely vague "I just am..." not really sure how to put it into words. Not feeling satisfied with that answer, I gave it some thought.

What's my motivation?

To answer that question, I need to tell you what it isnt. For a very long time (read: over 4 years) I thought my motivation was other things. First it was to fit into a wedding dress. Then it was to look good for our honeymoon, then it was for my 25th Birthday, then to get my body in shape to have a baby. My point is, these were all things with a deadline. These were all THINGS. They were fleeting and not REALLY that motivating. Sure I wanted to look amazing in my wedding dress, but not enough to change my life. Sure it would have been nice to be skinny on my honeymoon, but it didn't move me enough to make me wake up and work out.

Case in point. Here I am on my wedding day:

And here I am on my Honeymoon:

And here I am on my 25th Birthday:

The time passed. The milestones came and went. And I was STILL 285 lbs. I had "tried" to lose weight for ALL of these things, but look where that got me. Nowhere. And sad. And with a sense that I COULDN'T lose weight. 

Then one day something changed. I can remember the exact moment. I looked in the mirror at my naked, fat body and I started crying. Why was I doing this to myself? Why was I living like this? Why didn't I deserve to be fit and happy? And I realized I did. I did deserve it. But no one owed it to me. No one was going to do it for me. I knew the time would pass, it already had. I realized in that moment that I was worthy of success. I knew I had to work for it, and HARD, but I deserved it. 

So now I finally have an answer to your question. My motivation is ME. I am WORTH it. I am beautiful and I deserve to feel healthy and happy and wear a bikini and skinny jeans and run a marathon because I deserve it! It isnt easy. It isnt fast. But it is worth it because I am worth it. 

And so are you. 

That, is what I can give you. 

Look at your naked body in the mirror and ask yourself WHY. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you living like this? Why don't you deserve to be fit and happy? 

You know what? You do. You are worth it.  


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 Ash

9 comments :

  1. I really enjoyed this one Jess, thank you so much! I can really related to what you've written here; from the dress, to the honeymoon, to the baby...now being pregnant all I can think about is maintaining my current weight (obviously a few lbs will happen) but then I find myself freaking out about what I'm going to look like POST baby, how will I get the weight off...WILL I get the weight off...everything! I have aunts who are obese now, and it all started with having children. It's terrifying...I guess now I need to find my motivation! Perhaps looking into the eyes of my child for the first time will finally make something click.

    Thank you again for your blog; I read it every day <3
    You are truly an inspiration

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  2. I love everything about this because I can completely relate to the a-ha moment. I had also tried to lose weight for various reasons and deadlines (to wear XYZ size, to get a cute dress for whatever, to look good on my 21st bday). And--you guessed it!--that never worked. I finally realized that it's not just about events or deadlines or numbers or any of that stuff. It's about losing it, for good, for ME. Because I deserve it. Love this!

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  3. This truly resonates with me. You're right, it's not about getting skinny for an event or setting a timeline, it's just about deciding you're ENOUGH and you're worth it.

    You rock. :)

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  4. Thank you so much for all your posts. you are such an inspiration. i read them and sometimes i cry (b/c I know exactly where u are coming from with some things) and other times i laugh - thanks for letting me know im not the only one out there :)

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  5. Wow...tears...I had the same A-HA moment. How far was I going to let myself go? How big was big enough? And you're right! No one owed it to me, I owed it to me. I have to put the work in and I have to run the miles.

    Love your post today...it's bang on!

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  6. Love this! I have to remind myself constantly that it took me years to put all this weight on and it's going to take a while to get it off.

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  7. Great post! Good point - we can all try to lose a few pounds for a short-term goal, but when that comes and goes then what? There needs to be something more! There needs to be something so big it keeps you going when you stumble or can't see your progress right away! There is really no other way to do it and you need that aha moment! That's not something you can give to someone asking for motivation. Well said!

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  8. YES! I love this! I never thought about it in terms of a deadline...but you're so right! That's what I always did too. It wasn't until I started doing it just for ME that it started to click. Great post!

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