Binge Eating is hard for a lot of people to understand. People who have completely normal relationships with food don't understand the compulsion to eat. They think you eat when you are hungry until you are not and thats it. In a perfect world, yes. In a world where stress and anxiety and disfunction don't exist, yup, that sounds about right. However to a binge eater, binge eating has really nothing to do with actually being hungry. In fact when I binge I am often NOT hungry, and get to a place of extreme discomfort where I would purge if I could but I can't (weird vomit phobia) so I sit there uncomfortably and hate myself. It's a vicious cycle.
Every binge eater has triggers. Holidays are a big one for me. I grew up with divorced parents so holidays were often more stressful than exciting. There were constant fights between parents for time and always feeling like you were neglecting the other parent when you weren't with them. And to add to that joy, I also had two step sisters who had to wait for my sister and I before christmas could start. So there was guilt from them too. Needless to say- shitshow. It was a shitshow.
I honestly have more memories of crying on christmas than actually being happy.
So I would turn to food to fill the void I was feeling in my heart. I started at a really young age (like 4 or 5) feeding my feelings. As I got older, holidays didn't get easier, but I got better at stuffing my face instead of crying. Bingeing became the way that I handled that stress. And if your family is like mine, there is no shortage of food during the holidays. It was like my binge eating dream; completely unsupervised at a buffet of delicious and fattening foods.
So as an adult, breaking this behavior is one of the hardest things I am trying to do. I obviously have more control over where I am on Christmas morning, but as any married 20 something without kids knows, there is no shortage of guilt. My answer has been to go where I feel most in control of my eating, and where I am happy.
Going off topic for a sec- as an adult, I have the power to be happy. I get to choose what I do and who I see and I choose not to see people that don't make me happy. Sure it has caused problems, but in the end, I am happy and that is what is best for my health, mental and physical.
Back to christmas. So the first step for me in managing my holiday trigger is to feel in control. When I do I am less likely to spiral out. I also try to focus on my goals and let stress roll off my back. It isn't easy. Holidays are stressful times in general. But one event at a time, one buffet at a time, I am working my way to being a recovering binge eater.
If you need help managing your stress or just want someone to talk to, for reals hit me up. I am all over the internets and attached to my phone so I will write you back. I am not a doctor, but I am a friend. Together we can get through the next 3 weeks and stay on the right track.
I just changed the way I am doing sponsorship. I got over myself so now every spot is free, forever and always. If you want your beautiful face on my side bar, send me an email or comment with your code and there you will be :D No strings. I want to build this awesome little blogging community and I want my readers to read your blog. For more info, check out my Sponsor page :D
Also I am doing a P90X3 Challenge Group and if you want more info check out this fb event.