From a young age, we learn to be bitches. I don't remember anyone specifically teaching me to lie and talk crap about other girls behind their back, but I remember when I learned this. It was Middle School. Middle School was a battlefield. It was the first time you were either "IN" or "OUT" and bullying started. We as young women learned to resent other women, want what they have and cut them down to make ourselves feel better. Don't try to tell me you haven't done this. You are lying. We all have. I have. I am not proud.
I think it has to do with being unhappy with ourselves, and projecting that onto other women. As someone who has walked a LONG road to self love, I finally see the light. And I don't get why we do this.
A friend of mine on facebook (who I love and I am sure is reading this so I want to clarify that I do love her and I am not at all mad or pointing this toward her) posted a selfie of her gym clothes, which consisted of a baggy t-shirt and pants with the caption "Other girls at the gym are wearing hot pink, boobies popping out.... and then there's me." This spurred a string of comments to the effect of "I hate those women who do their hair and wear make-up to the gym. They are only there to look for men" (I am paraphrasing) in addition to these photos for effect.
I get it. I get that these women have awesome bodies and might be intimating to other women at the gym. But isn't insinuating that they are slutty, or criticizing what they are wearing JUST as bad as judging the big girl on the treadmill? WHY do we hate? That's what I don't get. OBVIOUSLY these women care about their appearance. They are working on their bodies, just like everyone else at the gym, and they are proud of their bodies. FACT: When I look like that, I am going to walk around naked. Everywhere. I deserve to show off the hard work I put in.
Ok maybe not really, I dont want to be arrested. BUT I will definitely be showing off my body. My point here is why are we not supportive of EVERY woman. Men already judge us enough, why do we have to judge and hate on each other? Those women are beautiful. My friend is BEAUTIFUL. Fuck I am beautiful. And so are you. And so is every single other women, whether they have thigh gaps or not or collar bones or not or cellulite or not, we are ALL beautiful because we are us! Don't mistake my quest for health and strength as me HATING my body or myself. I am doing this BECAUSE I love myself. I love my stretch marks. I LOVE my cellulite. I also love my muscular calves and my peck muscles I can flex. I love every part of me. And I love every part of every woman out there. BECAUSE WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL.
SO please, the next time you go to the gym and see a woman that you might label, stop yourself. Tell yourself that she is beautiful and so are you and that we don't HAVE to hate each other! We don't! So just stop it, okay!
And don't do it on facebook if we are friends because I am not shy and I will call you out. Awareness is the first step.