Operation Skinny Jeans: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

Thursday, November 21, 2013

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

I don't understand women. I am one, and I don't get it.

From a young age, we learn to be bitches. I don't remember anyone specifically teaching me to lie and talk crap about other girls behind their back, but I remember when I learned this. It was Middle School. Middle School was a battlefield. It was the first time you were either "IN" or "OUT" and bullying started. We as young women learned to resent other women, want what they have and cut them down to make ourselves feel better. Don't try to tell me you haven't done this. You are lying. We all have. I have. I am not proud.

I think it has to do with being unhappy with ourselves, and projecting that onto other women. As someone who has walked a LONG road to self love, I finally see the light. And I don't get why we do this.

A friend of mine on facebook (who I love and I am sure is reading this so I want to clarify that I do love her and I am not at all mad or pointing this toward her) posted a selfie of her gym clothes, which consisted of a baggy t-shirt and pants with the caption "Other girls at the gym are wearing hot pink, boobies popping out.... and then there's me." This spurred a string of comments to the effect of "I hate those women who do their hair and wear make-up to the gym. They are only there to look for men" (I am paraphrasing) in addition to these photos for effect.

I get it. I get that these women have awesome bodies and might be intimating to other women at the gym. But isn't insinuating that they are slutty, or criticizing what they are wearing JUST as bad as judging the big girl on the treadmill? WHY do we hate? That's what I don't get. OBVIOUSLY these women care about their appearance. They are working on their bodies, just like everyone else at the gym, and they are proud of their bodies. FACT: When I look like that, I am going to walk around naked. Everywhere. I deserve to show off the hard work I put in.
Ok maybe not really, I dont want to be arrested. BUT I will definitely be showing off my body. My point here is why are we not supportive of EVERY woman. Men already judge us enough, why do we have to judge and hate on each other? Those women are beautiful. My friend is BEAUTIFUL. Fuck I am beautiful. And so are you. And so is every single other women, whether they have thigh gaps or not or collar bones or not or cellulite or not, we are ALL beautiful because we are us! Don't mistake my quest for health and strength as me HATING my body or myself. I am doing this BECAUSE I love myself. I love my stretch marks. I LOVE my cellulite. I also love my muscular calves and my peck muscles I can flex. I love every part of me. And I love every part of every woman out there. BECAUSE WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL.
</soap box>
SO please, the next time you go to the gym and see a woman that you might label, stop yourself. Tell yourself that she is beautiful and so are you and that we don't HAVE to hate each other! We don't! So just stop it, okay!
And don't do it on facebook if we are friends because I am not shy and I will call you out. Awareness is the first step. 

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  1. Love love love love this post!!! I have definitely been guilty of bashing other people when I was younger to make myself feel better, but it never really quite works that way. I hate seeing this in the adult world too!

  2. Middle school is the worst! Seriously, worst years of my life.

    Anyway, I wanted to add that some women are working out in less clothing because it's just what they're comfortable in. My best friend is a teeny, muscular, fake-boobed girl who likes to lift. She prefers to lift in a sports bra and shorts or leggings because it's less restrictive and she gets really hot when she is working out. I do know first hand that the girl sweats! But she hates the looks that she gets from girls (and guys!) at the gym and always keeps a tank or tee handy in case she starts to feel uncomfortable. She has a fitness-model-type body, and sometimes it's less about showing it off and more about getting in a great workout!

  3. Great post! I think we have all been guilty of judging others and most certainly, of judging ourselves and seeing ourselves in a negative light.

  4. Yes!!!!! I have never understood why women have to hate so much on other women?! It get's old and tiring!

  5. Preach it girl! (My daughter is in Middle school and it scares the *$&% out of me!)
    I love how you said, "When I look like that..." Cause you will look like that! I'm working on believing I will too. ;)

  6. Awesome post, awesome message! And yes, we are all guilty of this at one time or another. We just have to stop ourselves before we start. Plus, you never know someone's story. That teeny tiny girl wearing hardly anything at the gym....she may have lost 120 lbs and she's so happy she wants to wear things she couldn't before. Or it may just be something she's more comfortable in based on the workout she's doing. Also, don't judge the idiot girl who dropped her ipod twice and had it shoot off the back of the treadmill during her lunch break (me!). I promise she has actually worked out before, lol. She isn't new to this.

  7. Perfectly said. I've been a mean girl, and I agree we all have at some point whether we said it out loud or not. I like to wear the tight fitting clothes to the gym because I know I feel better in that when I work out thinking I might look cuter than if I wear a baggy t-shirt. I'm not skinny, but I am proud of what I do have. Great post!

  8. Awesome post, got to stop the hating !

  9. YEP. Middle school is THE WORST. I teach at both a middle school and high school and it all starts in middle school, when many of these kids still look like KIDS and not adolescents. I agree--we have to change the way we talk about other women! Ladies UNITE!

  10. I went to a jr high (only 7th and 8th grade) and it was the worst. They just switched all the jr highs to middle schools (6, 7 and 8) I wonder if that will help. I felt like there was no good transition, we go from elementary school where your whole class just goes to gym to jr high where you now have to change clothes in a locker room with 30 other girls whose bodies are also changing. Horrible.

  11. I honestly don't think I've ever thought of that particular situation in this way before.... Because I'm usually one of the people at the gym who is SO JEALOUS of those women sometimes I do judge them. And other times its mostly just me being sad that I can't do that haha ... But your point is a really good one. And I really think people are too judgmental in general and women are especially hard on each other and of course ourselves. And I agree with you, when I finally am fit and thin, aint nobody got time for clothes no more! :-P hahahah

  12. I'm just now getting caught up on my blogs, so I'm a little late in responding. I love this post! Yes! I wear fitted clothes to the gym (I hate how baggy shirts get weighed down when I start sweating, and I sweat A LOT), usually capris and a short-sleeved shirt, and I don't want anyone thinking I'm showing off or trying to pick up (I don't wear my wedding rings to the gym). I'm there to workout, and I prefer to be comfortable (as comfortable as it can be when working out)!


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