I can't believe it's already October, but it is, and Skinny Jean Fit Camp is over. It was fun and some awesome ladies did really awesome! Here are some before and afters!
|(top photos are her starting pics, middle are pre-fit camp)|
These ladies did awesome! Now how did I do? Well, I gained 2 lbs. yep, in the last 10 weeks, not only did I not lose, I gained. I did, however, have a revelation.
I stopped focusing on me. No blame on the blog, but I have put all of you amazing people first. It started with the 10 week challenge, which was supposed to be a way for a friend and I to focus and really kick ass for 10 weeks before various events in our lives. But I wrote about it and it just BLEW UP. It went from a declaration of my intent to go balls to the wall, to a 200 person challenge in which I had to keep you all occupied and focused, so I didn't focus on myself at all. I didn't lose during that challenge either.
So after that, I had a ton of people begging for me to do another one. I changed the rules, in the hopes of being able to focus with a smaller group of people, and by adding two other people to the team. If I am being honest, it all went to hell. The two people that signed up to help didn't help as much as I had hoped, and I continued to hide behind the role as leader, and completely failed to work on myself at all.
There is only one person to blame, and that is myself.
I have always put other people first. Doing that is what got me to 285 lbs. I just fell back into that role through these challenges because it is comfortable for me. Well guess what! Change doesn't happen in your comfort zone.
So it is with a heavy heart that I have to say that Skinny Jean Fit Camp will not be back. Not right now at least. I need some time to focus on JUST me. And it is so hard to say that. I WANT to help people. But I NEED to help myself. I haven't lost weight in 4 months. That is 100% because I haven't put myself first. It is time to change that.
I still care about all of you, and I still want to know how you are doing and you can still email me for anything, I just need to do this for me.