Operation Skinny Jeans: 10 Week Challenge- Get Inspired

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

10 Week Challenge- Get Inspired

It's time for another mini challenge!


This week, I thought it was a good idea to get inspired. Guess what, losing weight is hard. Like really hard. And sometimes it's even harder to remember why we chose to embark on this freaking hard journey. Why we are sore and hungry. Why we can't go to Cold Stone when we want to. We have a reason. Everyone does. If you didn't, you wouldn't make it through. 

When times get tough, I love to reflect on how far I have come, and remember why I am doing this. One of the questions I was asked when I did my Q & A videos was what was my "aha" moment. What made me realize I had to do something about my weight. Here it is, and part of my inspiration. 

I graduated High School at just under 200 lbs. Sure I was bigger, but I was happy at my size. I wore a 14, and I was pretty comfortable with my body. 


As you know from my "about me", I gained a ton of weight really fast in 2007 because of the depo shot. Well the depo shot and being in a committed relationship and all that jazz. I had a weird problem where I didn't think I looked as big as I was, like Body Dysmorphia in reverse. When I looked in the mirror, I still saw that girl in the picture above. I still do, to be honest. As I gained 85 lbs, in my head I didn't think I looked any different. That was until I graduated from college in 2009. When the professional picture company sent me an email with my photo, I was in shock. Utter shock. 


I honestly didn't recognize myself. Who is that woman? Where is her neck?? How the hell did she let that happen to her in just 4 years! Why did no one tell me!!! I was so angry and embarrassed and PISSED that this was my memory of my college graduation. 

I obviously didn't purchase the photo (hence why it says "proof"). I have not looked at any other pictures from that day either. I don't want to. My point being, this was my wake up call. 

This was in May 2009, I decided I couldn't look like that anymore! I was about 2 years from my wedding, so I was "determined" to get back into shape for the wedding. That didn't happen. I got married at 285 lbs. I then was "determined" to lose weight because other people wanted me to. Then because my Grandpa had passed away, but never for me. I never wanted to get healthy because of me, and that was the problem. 

When I told my Mother in Law (who is probably the most supportive person in my journey thus far, aside from my husband, and you all) that I wanted to do the program at the gym to get a head start, she told me I probably wouldn't succeed. She told me that I always say I want to lose weight, but until I decided that I really did, I wouldn't do it. This was the harsh truth that I really needed to hear. She was right. I kept saying I "want" to lose weight, but never losing more than 10 lbs before gaining it all back. 

That was another "aha" moment for me. The reason I wasn't succeeding was me. I knew I had to figure out what I really wanted to figure out why I wanted to really lose weight. 

So I did. When I grow up, I want to be one thing, and that's a mom. I don't care about what job I do, what house I own, where we live, nothing else but being a mom. But I care enough about that dream to do it right. I know at my weight, I would most likely have a high risk pregnancy. I don't want that. I want to be healthy for the baby I want to have. And that is my driving force. Every time I think about how hard this is, or how much I want to stop, I remember my future baby. The one that will have a easy, safe baking period before arriving in my arms beautiful and healthy. Thats what keeps me going. 

My point is, you are the only one who can make you do this. You have to do it for you. And just because my fat face is staring at me in that stupid picture above, here is a recent picture of my face, which is no longer that fat. Look! I even have a neck again!


What is your inspiration? What keeps you going? Can you believe how HUGE I got in just 4 years! Holy Crap! 

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9 comments :

  1. My "aha" moment was when I saw my Sister in law losing weight. To be honest, I didn't want her to be smaller than me (the whole competition thing...I know its awful but it's the truth). I also thought I was "small" when I looked in the mirror. I would be like well I wear an XL...but I'm obviously just built different and I'm a small XL. What keeps me going at this point is my friends and family's constant encouragement.

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  2. My "aha" moment was when I finally looked in the mirror; really looked. I had been avoiding my reflection for so long that when it caught up to me I was shocked how disconnected the person I saw was from the image in my head. And actually, until reading this post I hadn't thought about that, so thank you. Great read and very inspiring!

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  3. My "aha" moment was when I signed up for a half marathon, paid the fee and everything, and didn't train or do anything at all for it. Like I thought I was just going to be able to get out and do it. I don't know what I was thinking. That half marathon is in two weeks. On May 1st when I saw your challenge, I thought, seriously Sami, it is time to freaking do it already! Hence, almost two weeks into this challenge and I am still going! We can all do this, we just have to keep being active, eating healthy and keep being positive!!!!!!!!!!! You are doing great!!!!

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  4. My "aha" moment was actually a simple one: watching my son run around. I want to be able to run after him with ease; play with him without getting tired; watch him grow up and be a part of everything...

    This journey isn't easy, and I've already had my fair share of break downs and "I can't do this" moments, but, at the end of the day, I just have to keep on trucking. And that's what I do.

    I still think I have a ways to go, and, to be honest, I really need to get back into the mindset of why I do this. I think it's easy to lose sight and give up, and I've done that way too often. I need to figure more out; more about who I am and what exactly I want. I know I want this for my son, but, I feel like there is something else I'm missing that I haven't pin pointed yet. I definitely need to do a bit of searching. :-)

    Girl, you're doing amazing!! You should be so proud of where you are and how far you've come! :-)

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  5. My inspiration was my son. He made me really examine what we ate. I mean, I decide what goes into his body and what doesn't. I am his only voice and he trusts that I am givng him what he needs. When I made the change with him for our family, the weight just melted off me. I know that I don't have a great success story of loosing ALOT of weight, but 20lbs was ALOT to me and made me feel like crap.

    I love that your future child is what inspires you. One day when you hold that little boy/girl, you will be so happy that you made this decision. You will be the role model for them. Keep up the great work!

    http://livewithcrystal.blogspot.com/

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  6. Oh em gee. This post made me like you even more!!! I didn't have any weight gain in college (by the grace of god) but I had the same weird backwards body dysmorphic syndrome thing. I never had an issue with how I looked--and still don't. But at some point how I felt was what made me wake up and realize if I want to get married and have babies at any point in the near future I needed to get my ish together. I still haven't gotten it together, but I'm in a better place than I was! Thank you thank you thank you for posting this!

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  7. I love your story, because I completely understand where you're coming from. I was more or less in the same boat, except my AHA moment happened about 7 months ago. I was wearing one of my favorite dresses, and a girl who works with me was wearing almost the same dress, although she is much smaller (in height and size) than me. She though it'd be cute if we took a picture together, and once I saw that picture I was MORTIFIED (it's my "before" picture I posted for Transformation Tuesday in the 10-week challenge group).

    Just like you, I had a backwards view of myself and my weight-- I thought pictures where I looked bad were "just a bad angle," but that picture convinced me otherwise. I'm so excited for you and your inspiration, and wishing you all the best wishes on your journey :)

    Carolyn

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  8. First let me say it is beautiful to see how you are inspiring others. I do have a hard time understanding how you gained that weight and went up so drastically in size without internalizing it. When you question why nobody told you, I did feel a bit contemptuous. People around you had to think you knew. How many women want someone telling them they should watch their weight? You seem to be in a really good place now. Congratulations, and keep it up!

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    1. Thanks. I honestly have no clue how I didn't realize it had gotten THAT bad. I knew I had gained some weight, but I really didn't think I looked like THAT, ya know. Denial, mostly. I mean clearly there is no excuse. I am so glad that I have gotten my shit together tho lol

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